Touch Wood

My daughter and I were sitting in the University Lecture Theatre.  Very impressive it was too.  And perhaps just as impressive were the credentials of the Professor who was explaining to us the course my daughter might be taking next year.

As the Professor explained the various ologies that were the components of competence and their necessity in the whole scheme of human understanding it seemed profoundly unlikely that faith and belief would figure at any point.  Especially the Professor's own faith and belief. 

He was explaining something important about the course and the success it had enjoyed.  And then he said, "Touch wood".  Now more than once on visits to Church members and adherents I have had the bizarre experience of the visited saying, "touch wood" and on one memorable occasion at a hospital bedside reaching out to the conveniently near bedside cabinet to do so.  This, I felt, beggered the question as to whether there was any point in praying to our supposed Creator regarding the illness when touching the bedside cabinet presumably warded off the spirits that, according to folklore, lived there with possible malevolent intentions to spoil the party.

Had the Professor simply said, "Touch wood" I probably would scarcely have noticed.  However at the moment he said it he was stranded at the front of the large hall, far away from anything to touch save himself and the remote control with which he controlled the projected display.  Well, that's OK - it's just an expression, isn't it?

The stranded Professor turned aside and headed to the desk on which his projector stood. - it was the nearest piece of furniture and he touched it.  This took but seconds yet walking several paces mid-speech made it noticeable.  However, on touching the desk a new problem emerged for him.  The desk was not made of wood.  Nor even the pseudo-wood of the bedside cabinet my hospital patient in earlier years resorted to.  It was metal!  Since when did any self-respecting nature spirit reside in a metal desktop?  Now the Professor had temporarily stopped talking, his whole (substantial) mental faculty devoted to the pursuit of wood.

Thankfully for us all the front row of the lecture theatre had a long counter made out of something passing for wood and a few seconds and another walk later he had finally touched wood and we were able to resume the information about pursuing a science degree.

I doubt there has ever been the remotest value in touching wood to placate the spiritual nasties.  Even if there was, there hasn't been ever since Jesus, er, nailed that victory for us on his very own wood.